Turning 30...

Last week, I was chatting with a friend, and she vexed eloquent about Ishaan, her cousin. He is all of five  three years old (thankfully) and yet seems to be really sharp for his age. I said something to the effect about the next generation already beating us in smartness. And she said, "Next generation? Oh yes, you are now an old man!"

I was rather confused for a moment... And then it hit me.

Last month, I turned 30.

“So what?” the younger lot among you might say.

“We understand... Join the club” the elderly among you will say.

One doesn’t take much notice when one completes the teenage years and turns 20. We are all too fascinated with ourselves, and eager to set the world in proper shape. We pride ourselves on our ideas, blissfully unaware that most of them have already been tried, tested and either implemented or failed. We just can’t wait to enter the twenties and take charge of our lives.

Stepping across to the thirties is a sobering experience. The mist lifts from the eyes, and reality kicks in. One by one, you begin to discover what you are capable of, and equally importantly, what you aren’t as capable of as you once thought.

Moreover, a significant large among us are married by 29-30 years. And quite frankly, the spouses have a special way of getting us on the ground level, turning us more humane from our demi-god image (mostly in our own mind).

And the funny thing is... You sense the change yourselves. You no longer enjoy doing things you once used to.

Some doors close for you, be it IITs or civil service. And it is said that, as a mathematician, if you don’t come up your best work by early twenties, you are finished. For someone whose dream (okay, okay... one of the dreams) was to be a mathematician/physicist, it is quite heart-wrenching.

If the teenage years are about enjoyment, and the twenties are about education, the thirties are about endurance; we supposed to be more mature, more responsible, and more serious towards life.

It’s not that we are not supposed to make mistakes, but we are expected to learn from them.

The past decade has been quite a roller-coaster ride, a sine wave. There are a few things that I did right, and some things I could have done better. And there are a lot many things I should have done, but didn’t manage to.

And...ah, yes... There are things I shouldn’t have done, but did them anyway... Mostly out of ignorance or immaturity. I have my share of regrets.

A couple of weeks ago, we visited the Ramkrishna Math in the city. Standing before the huge statue of Swami Vivekananda, I could only think of a line from this great Warrior Monk:

“God, give me the courage to change the things I can,

Strength to bear the things I cannot;

... and wisdom to be able to distinguish between the two.”

Laus Deo.