Bahot Shukriya…

A colleague took his girlfriend to lunch, and forgot his wallet in the office. When realisation dawned upon him in the restaurant, he went to the washroom and tried calling his team-mates, but they were in a meeting. So he called me up to get his wallet.
The whole thing was so funny, it inspired me to do a satire of an old Hindi song sung by Asha Bhonsle – Mohd Rafi : Bahot shurkriya badi meherbaani, meri zindagi mein huzoor aap aaye…

Here it is…

लडका:
बहोत प्रोब्लेम हुवा, बडी परेशानी
इस होटेल में क्यों हम आये
घडी बेच दूं, या कपडे निकालू
करु क्या ये मेरी समझ में ना आये

करु पेश किसको नजराना बिल का
ना बन जाये कोई फलूदा इज्जत का
खुदा जाने मेरी सोनेरी घडी फिर
मेरी जिंदगी मे कब मिल जाये

बिल तो बहोत है, और पैसे कम है
सब दोस्तों के फोन भी बंद है
आज ये मुसाफिर दुवा मांगता है
खुदा इन सबको जल्द ही उठाये

लडकी:
मुझे डर है मुझपे, नजर आ ना जाये
लगुं भागने मैं, वो पिछे आ ना जाये
कही ये मेरी पर्स ना खोलकर
बिल पे करे और फिर भूल जाये

Passion & Emotion

Are you passionate? Or are you emotional? Does it mean the same?
No… on the surface of it, you are passionate about something; you get emotional about someone.

But there’s a more fundamental difference between the two.
Passion involves mind; emotion, by definition, excludes mental judgments.

Passion drives you to action. A passionate gardener; for example, would study his plants, read up about how best he can take care of them, he wouldn’t mind getting his hands dirty with soil – on the contrary, he would just love it. On the other hand, someone who just gets emotional about plants and trees would keep on complaining about loss of forest cover without ever setting out his foot to do something about it.

It is alright, in fact essential, to be emotional about someone. But emotions block critical analysis; you can hardly bring yourself about to criticize the object of your affection. But, being passionate about the relationship will make you strive for giving your best, and bringing out the best from the other person.
Emotions are self-centric… one may pine away for someone without ever thinking of ways to improve the other person. Passion is all about making its subject better.

Passion is often backed by a vast knowledge about the subject. If you are passionate about computers, you are likely to read more about them, study them in detail. If you are just emotional about movies of the past, all you are likely to do is whine about how such classics are no longer made.

More often than not, emotions are abstract feelings about generic subjects. It is rather difficult to describe why you feel the way you feel. A passionate person is more likely to give you the specific reasons for why he or she rooting for a particular cause.

Emotions are important…. they distinguish us from animals, and bring in some beautiful moments in one’s life. One can’t help being emotional; but it would help to bring in more of passion to everything, be it your work or your relationships.

Two years at Infospectrum… Retrospection

Today is a Saturday, and yet I am at my desk in the office; for today happens to be the 10th of May, the date I joined Infospectrum India Pvt Ltd two years ago.

When compared to the 35 years each spent by my parents in their respective government offices before retiring last year, my two years would seem too short a time-span to indulge in nostalgic thoughts, and yet it is difficult not to get into a retrospective reverie.

I vividly remember my first day in the Nagpur office. Coming from a small start-up firm in Pune, Infospectrum was the first big company I had joined. Looking at the lines & lines of desktops and smart-looking people talking about latest technologies and platforms, I was getting more & more nervous about how I would survive.

One of the prime reasons for my worry was that I had just switched my profile, from a .NET programmer to a technical writer. The decision had come after a lot of brooding over my strengths and weaknesses, and though I was feeling confident about myself, there was feeling of worry gnawing at the back of my mind.

I needn’t have worried so much, especially since I had joined such a friendly lot.

In last two years at Infospectrum, I have worked on a wide variety of projects. My project has been one of the biggest in the company, and the opportunity to work in a big team has honed my skills as a team-player. With lots of pressure-cooker situations and challenging deadlines to beat, there has never been a dull day at work!

(My project team, after achieving the Best Project award)

Though my prime responsibility has been towards marine logistics and maritime surveillance projects, from time to time I have also done documentation for projects related to finance, HR and space domain. Each one has been a learning experience in its own.

It’s been a pleasure working under different project managers, Pankaj Khorgade, Vijay Phulwadhwa & Vinaykant Shukla, Vishal Kulkarni, Harshawardhan Pandit, Shishir Dani (Account Manager)… each one of these has a unique style, and I have learnt quite a few things from them.

(Shishir sir, Vijay sir, Vinaykant sir)

At Infospectrum, we experience a truly flat organizational hierarchy. I have been able to write to and talk to the top management without being conscious of any divide of position or grade.

Sangeeta Ma’am and her HR team, as well as Admin & Finance departments have been a source of continuous support all these years. Whenever I have had any problem, I didn’t feel a moment’s hesitation in approaching them and they have always been very co-operative.

Some of my best moments have been the as a member of editorial board of Pulse, monthly newsletter of Infospectrum. The debates and discussions (and occasional fights) that go into making each edition of newsletter would need a separate blog post of their own!

(Team Pulse)

Many of my colleagues have become life-time buddies... Sandeep Sinha, Manjusha Singh, Amit Joshi, Ashay Kulkarni, Snehal Kawale, Chandrakant Raju…

There are two people of whom I must make a special mention…

Jay Chopde, CEO - Infospectrum… He has been a real, live example of the dynamic CEO that I had only read in business magazines so far. I always wonder how he takes time to manage such a heavy workload and yet pay attention to every minute detail that crosses his eyes. His regular column in Pulse, Random Thoughts has been a source of inspiration and ideas.

Tushar Joshi… my friend, philosopher & guide, who was instrumental in bringing me to Infospectrum. Thanks Tushar, it’s been a wonderful journey so far!

As I look back upon the path traveled by me till now, I can’t but help feeling a tinge of dissatisfaction…I did a few things right, but I could have done better... Last year saw me traveling to Norway, to work on a documentation project that concerned radars. It was an immensely learning experience, yet I seem to have failed to capitalize upon it. I am now working hard to get the things back on track.

Today, Infospectrum is a CMMI Level 3 Company, aiming for more peaks of success in future. To know more about it, visit the company website. If you want a personal perspective, I would strongly recommend Tushar Joshi’s Infospectrum blog.

[Disclaimer: This is a personal blog-post. The opinions expressed here are my own and not those of my employer. ]

The Art of Listening

The other day,

I was talking on phone to RVP, a friend of mine. Things were heating up a bit, as they usually do when we talk longer than a certain threshold time-period. In the course of quarrel, she snapped, “You never pay attention to what I am saying!” This was the 455th time she’s said this - 455 being the number of days since we started talking to each other. So it wouldn’t have come as a surprise, if it wasn’t for the angst.

That made me sit up and take notice.

Listening is a prime requirement for my profession. As a technical writer, I have to interview the Subject Matter Experts for information. Going by the peer reviews and feedback received over the last two years, I seem to be doing a fairly good job of it.

Furthermore, as a senior editor of Pulse, our company’s monthly newsletter, I often interview the top management, and senior project managers/team leaders. Since we have not yet begun with the practice of using a tape-recorder during these interviews, I note down the salient points and then expand upon it, mostly from the memory. The drafts are sent to the interviewees and they invariably come back with minor changes, if any.

The point I am trying to make here is:

When it comes to office work, not many are complaining about my listening skills. Is talking to our family-members, friends, and relatives any different, in terms of communication?

Apparently,

... there does seem to be a difference. Ever since this realization has dawned, I have started to pay attention to the way I listen or interrupt during talks. Hope the improvement is perceptible to those whom it concerns!

Tushar – A friend par excellence

Today is the birthday of the man whom I consider as my friend, philosopher, guide and guru – Tushar Joshi. I wish him a very long and fulfilling life, full of accomplishments and happy moments.

We “met” in rather unusual circumstances – through the Yahoo! Group, Marathi.Net. He had exposed me before the world at large, of doing something which I could only justify as a gross failure of judgment on my part. But unlike rest of my detractors, who chose to leave for good, Tushar stood by me. “You have realized your mistake, just promise me not to repeat it,” said he. And together we started Marathi.Net all over again. Over the last 4 years, it has grown to be one of the biggest Marathi groups.

That was when I got drawn towards the phenomenon called Tushar Joshi.

Over the years, he has helped me in more ways than anyone else could have ever done. Be it professionally (He encouraged me to make the shift to technical writing and was instrumental in getting me to Infospectrum, the company I work for); or in a personal way (he knows each of my little troubles and his advice counts a lot).

Our talks are never about weather and sports and politics. Talking to him is always an intellectually enriching experience. He might tell you about a software tool that he has tried, or recommend a highly influential book (such as Winning), or might just share an interesting line of thought he came across. You always go away with a feeling of having learned something new.

A hardcore techie, and yet a sensitive poet; a prolific blogger and a prolific photographer; there’s always something more to him than meets the surface. He has a vast collection of books and equally vast collection of songs. He has multiple international certifications to his credit and he is proficient in more technologies and software platforms than I even know about. A teacher at heart ( his students would attest to that), he consider himself a perenial student.

Last month, I had an opportunity to interview him for Pulse, our company’s newsletter. And even after four years of being in touch, I was amazed with the range and depth of his versatile personality. Perhaps, therein lies the secret of his charisma!

One of the many things I admire about Tushar is, he never pushes his thoughts on you, instead he just recommends what he likes and lets it go at that. But very soon you realize to pay heed to his ideas and suggestions. In this regard, I think he justifies his name, Tushar… the droplets from a fountain… Just like those, he spreads his knowledge all around; it is up to you to pick up those pearls.

Today, on his birthday, I wish him the best and simply the best the world has to offer.

Bus driver & school kids

It was morning time, around 9-9:30 AM.
Volvo was rushing towards Nagpur. I sat just behind the driver, and out through the windshield, saw a group of kids on their way to school. They were perspiring from the heat.

Suddenly the bus stopped.
Driver motioned for the kids to get in. About half a dozen chirpy birds crowded the cabin. On the way, driver asked them a few questions. The kids were a talkative lot and informed that they were on their way to give the final exams, they had English paper that day and that it was “layi bhaari paper”.
It was clear they had found themselves in an air-conditioned bus like Volvo for the first time and were greatly enamoured. I had an unopened pack of biscuits, which I gave them. They distributed it among themselves and ate it heartily.

A couple of kilometers later,
... we reached their destination, the school. As they got down, the driver told them, “Study well. If you don’t, you will become a driver like me… but if you study hard now, one day you will become (he pointed at me) a sahib like him and get to travel in big buses like this.”

They waved at us, said “Thank you” in a chorus, and waved at us.
We waved back and resumed our journey.

I casually asked the driver if he knew these kids. He said no, he had just seen them walking on the road and decided to give them a free ride.

“I too used to walk to school along this same road. By the time I got back home, the legs pained horribly. I studied till seventh standard before giving up. But had I persisted then, I wouldn’t have still been on the road.”

Three Cheers to Team India!!!

As one of the millions of people who had to be in front of their laptops, desktops and other tools of work, instead of their TV screens, I kicked myself the whole day yesterday. Nevertheless, we did follow the second final of Commonwealth Cup thru CricInfo, with an occasional glance at all the bickering on the Rediff message boards.

What an interesting series this has been and what a final it was! After all the controversies, incompetent umpiring, racial abuses and everything else that could went wrong, India deserved to win, and win it did in style. Sachin gave a befitting reply to his detractors, by practically slapping his bat (a heavy one, that too!) across their collective faces. His scores of 63/117/91 took India through the semi-finals and were the pillars around which Indian innings in both the finals were built. It is a lesson how to answers one's critics with deeds rather than words.

It was thrilling to watch Harbhajan scalp off Hayden and particularly, Symonds twice in a row! Praveen Kumar got crucial wickets in both his opening spells. Although it would be too early to comment on whether he would turn out to be a great bowler, he was instrumental in two matches, and that should add to his confidence.

After Twenty20 World Cup win and beating Aussies twice in their own backyard, India has now emerged as a strong contender to the top spot in Cricket. To achieve that, we need to make wins like this a habit, not a sporadic event now and then. The young members seem on a roll, and with proper training and mentoring, we can have a World Cup-winning combination in our hands.

Three Cheers to Team India!!

The Greatest & The Most Popular

Well, what a river, a lake or a watering hole is to forest, a coffee machine is to any software company. Strange encounters often happen here.

The other day,
I was helping myself to a booster dose of caffeine, when I heard two people conversing.
"Kuchch bhi kaho yaar, Kishore-da ka jawaab nahi... Truly the greatest singer of all times!"

Now, there happens to be some topics in which I forget the mandate about minding one's own business.
"Excuse me," I interjected, “you can perhaps call Kishore the most popular singer, but not the greatest."
"Huh? Then who?"
"Rafi," I shrugged matter-of-factly.

They tried to argue.
I asked them to come up with a Kishore devotional to match "Mann Tarpat" or a Kishore classical to outclass "Madhuban mein" or a Kishore qawwaalli of real quality. They couldn't. I walked away in triumph.

This is not to put down Kishore.
He is definitely my favourite singer, after Rafi. There are indeed some songs that I wouldn’t wish to hear in anyone's voice other than Kishore. Rafi v/s Kishore fight is as futile & fruitless as Lata v/s Asha.

The objective is..
... to draw a distinction between Greatest & Most Popular. The two need not be the same.

Yuvraj Singh may hit six sixes in an over, people may hail dashing Dhoni.... but if you want to see batting at its classical best, you would look at Sachin.

10 Commandments for a PG

Hi,
Well, as someone who has been living as a PG (Paying Guest) for a better part of last 3 years, I daresay to be able to lay a claim about knowing what it takes to be a decent PG. Here are a few of my observations... Feel free to comment or contradict.

1. Thou shalt be a Paying guest.
   Money matters! And seriously… Pay the rent on time, no matter what.
2. Thou shalt be a paying Guest.
   No matter how amiable your hosts are... never forget that fact that you are still a guest. Avoid publicly passing judgmental comments about people around you or offering unsolicited views & opinions about events that you may witness in the house.
3. Thou shalt respect their privacy.
   It goes without saying that you shouldn't trespass on obviously off-limit premises... bedrooms, study-rooms, and kitchen (unless you are dining with them).
   Once in a while, go off for a weekend, and inform them in advance. They would really welcome this respite from you ;-)
4. Live up to the trust.
   Sometimes, your hosts would be away, leaving you in charge of the house. Avoid bringing over your buddies for overnight stay during your hosts absence. They are sure to find out from your neighbours.
5. … And expect the same in return!
   If your hosts trespass your privacy, do not hesitate to object, in a mild manner.
6. Be a good companion.
   The major driving force behind having someone as paying guest is financial gain, people also crave for something more. Try to be someone who is a pleasure to be around. If there are kids in the house, get them chocolates (…once in a while), if there are youngsters, discuss latest movies, matches (and career options) , discuss current affairs with landlord/land-lady, volunteer to get medications for the elderly (ensuring that they pay the bills!). If the family invites you out for a dinner/movie, accept graciously, and get something in the interval. If relatives of your host visit, and involve you in the talks, invite them to YOUR room and play host.
   In short, do not be a moron holed up in your room all the while.
7. … But be aware of emotional complications.
   Bear in mind that you would be staying with these people only for a while, so avoid getting emotionally involved with them... esp. if the family has someone your age and of opposite sex.
8. Use a minimum of shared resources.
   TV, Computer, Bike... try to minimise sharing any of these. If you cannot live without one, invest and get one for yourself.
9. Indulge in your vices out of your PG room.
   Smoking is bad. Smoking in your PG room is worse.
   Same applies to alcohol consumption, tobacco-chewing.... and any other vices you may have.
10. Leave your PG room better than it was
    When the day comes to bid adieu to your PG room, give a bit more than just the rent... an inexpensive wall-clock, a wall-piece... leave your memory behind.
    

An Open Letter to Forward-Enthusiasts

On February 3, 1976, a computer club newsletter published a letter sent by Bill Gates. Gates was furious that the programs written by him and Paul Allen were used by software enthusiasts for free. More details about this letter can be seen at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open_Letter_to_Hobbyists

Well, am no Gates. But am as passionate about my writing as he is about his software. I feel equally enraged when there are more than a few mails of mine being forwarded without any mention of their origin. So, based on that famous letter of Gates, here is my own letter to forward-enthusiasts.
------------------------------------

Dear Forwarder,
I do not know you, and wouldn't have bothered to bother you, if it weren't for an act of yours that has caused me a couple of sleepless nights.

You forward mails. No problem with that. Indeed, if it wasn't for your forwarded mails, most of us wouldn't have known so many wonderful things happening all around.
No sarcasm here.

The problem arises when you start forwarding mails as your own... Mails that someone else has taken efforts to think about and spent a few minutes of his/her life to write down.

When you are watching a movie, enjoying a night out with your friends, or simply sleeping, someone is at the computer, tirelessly giving finishing touches to a small write-up that they have been thinking whole day over. Thinking isn't easy. It wrecks the mind. Writing isn't easy. It takes time... time that could have possibly been spent in having a meal at leisure.

They mail to you. And what you do with it? You simply remove the author's name, and shoot it off to a hundred people.
I think that's cruel.

Every time you forward a mail without giving due credit to its author, you are denying someone of their right. You are creating one more reason for them to feel like never writing again. You deprive them of a few words of appreciation that may have gone their way.

I do not know what motivates you to do this. I do not want to know, either.
But I do hope you realize what you are doing.

So should you be forwarding chain mails? No.
But before you hit the send button, see that you have kept the author's name or e-mail ID. If you receive a forwarded mail, before forwarding it, keep the sender's mail ID. If you wish, feel free to make changes to your heart's content, but add a line towards the end (based on a mail by...). This not only gives credit to the author, but also makes him/her accountable for the same.

May be am expecting too much. But that's the least you can do.

-Gautam.

Peasant in a cyber-caffe

Hi,

It was a Sunday evening. I was in a cyber-caffe near my PG rooms, checking my mails, and reading posts on the various Yahoo groups that I am a member of.

Just then, a middle-aged person walked in. He was bald-headed, wearing khaadi clothes and a dhoti.. In short, not the kind of guy you usually find in a cyber-caffe.

The peasant guy walked straight to the caffe-owner. The owner nodded to him, and logged in to a G-Mail account. He read some mails from the inbox and conveyed those to the peasant guy, who listened attentively. This activity over, the peasant told the owner some matters, such as, the heat here has been unbearable, but we have had some showers during last few days; the mother is well, the sister is enjoying summer holidays, etc... which the cyber-caffe guy typed and sent off as an e-mail.

The peasant thanked the owner and left.

I was damn curious to know what was going on. Being somewhat friendly with the cyber-caffe owner, I asked him what it was all about.

It seems that the peasant person's son has got admission to IISc-Bangalore on basis of some scholarship. The family doesn't have a telephone, and with postal department striving hard to live up to its reputation of 'snail-mail', letters would have taken years to reach.

So the young boy came up with a bright idea: he created a G-Mail account in name of his father and provided the cyber-caffe owner with the ID and password. About once a month, the father comes to the caffe, the owner logs into the G-mail account and reads the mails sent by the son, translating them into Marathi, of course. Next, he types the matter as dictated by the father and sends the reply to son.

If you ask me, this must be the best application of IT in a country like India..

I do not know whom to applaud.. the son, for this fantastic scheme; or the father, for taking up this adventure at such an old age; or the cybe-caffe owner, who doesn't charge a penny for his services...

Norway Narrative...

I believe in destiny. How else would one explain the fact that one fine morning I found myself being transported from the scorching heat of Nagpur to chilly snows of Norway?

Infospectrum India Pvt Ltd gave me an opportunity to work for a month with Applied Radar Physics, as a technical writer. ARP is basically a group of scientists coming together to develop high-end radars. The company is located at Kjeller Teknologisk, near Oslo. The complex also houses a dozen other R & D organizations, specializing in a wide array of fields, right from biotech to nanotech… and then, there is a nuclear reactor as well!

Rather than writing about what food I ate ( which actually wasn’t much more than bread, butter & cheese) and the places I saw (to put it in brief, the entire Oslo), this article will focus on what I learnt as a person.

The most important thing I learnt was some good ethics. Mr. José Navarro had informed he would pick me up at my hotel at 9 am on first day. I was thinking, ‘he would probably be late by half an hour at least, after all he is the Managing Director!’. Imagine my surprise when, upon descending the stairs at 9 am, I found him waiting for me in the hotel lobby!

At work, I hardly found anyone moving about during work hours. In fact for first few days, I was the one who was most often seen moving in and out of the room for trips to coffee machine, etc. The others would rarely budge from their seats, except for work-related matters.

One thing I realized was the immense amount of work you can get done in a single day if you really focus hard and get cracking. I mean, it’s really, really amazing how much time and mental processing power we waste by just letting our minds wander during work.

Lunch time discussions were something I always looked forward too, for they were never about mundane matters. Everyone present (except me, perhaps...) being highly qualified, the talks were always informative and interesting. Mr. Navarro would say something like, “Yesterday on Discovery Channel they showed about radio-pulsars.” And then others would chip in with what they knew. Each one of them has traveled far and wide and it was a treat to hear their experiences. Being in such an elite company naturally widens your thinking horizons and you begin to read more, learn more, so that you aren’t left out!!

Another point I noted was minimal reporting procedures. If José had to tell something to any of his team-members, he would just walk in and say it. In fact most of the communication was verbal. Of course, important information was indeed passed through mails. Perhaps, ARP being a small group and everyone being senior person, verbal communication must have worked fine. But still, I do feel that sometimes we spend more time in writing mails than doing actual work.

Norwegians in general are very, very courteseous and well- mannered. They go to amazing extent to help others, even a stranger like me. And they smile a lot... it comes naturally to them. I would be walking on the streets and many passer-by’s would break into a smile, and say "Good Morning" or something. It really feels very nice. I tried this a few times after coming back to India, and was greeted with weird looks...

This visit has taught me a lot professionally and also made me a better individual. Living away from “your” people, you begin to appreciate even the simple pleasures like a chai or a warm sunshine early in morning.

For Norway visit photos, you are invited to browse through my photo album on Flickr. http://www.flickr.com/photos/gautamsoman

[Review] Dhoom -2

Hi,
Well, before you begin to read, a note. All opinions in this post are completely personal, and you are most welcome to disagree with them. In fact I would like to know why you think am wrong. So here we begin...

I watched Dhoom-2, and was positively bored with it. It doesn't matter that the film has received thunderous opening all over, and might even turn out to be one of the major hits of the year. In a country where a film like KANK becomes a hit, anything is possible.

Dhoom-2 is full of action, the adrenalin-pumping type. All characters are hyper-active. When they are not racing on bikes, scaling sky-scrappers or dangling from heights, they just aren't doing anything.

Songs are foot-thumping. "Crazy Kiya Re" has a catchy beat and the Dhoom Theme sounds racy.

Hrithik looks good, but then, when does he not? He has puts in an earnest performance, as usual. The problem is: how far can even he go when the character itself doesn't have much bandwidth?

Aishwarya sizzles in skimpy clothes, and also manages to do what she has avoided doing so far. Alas, the scene lacks the intensity that should have been associated with it.

It is clear that the director has first decided upon the action-sequences and then woven the story (or whatever there is of it) around those. For example: the scene where Hrithik asks Aishwarya to jump from a cliff if she really trusts him, etc etc. Needless to say, she jumps, (followed by him, of course), and then they are both dangling over a few thousand feet. Was there really any need for this?

Uday Chopra is excruciatingly irritating. Someone should tell him that it takes an Arshad Warsi to do the role of a "Circuit."
And pray tell me what was Bipasha Basu doing in this film? After a film like "Corporate," why does she need to do a role like this?

Abhishek Bachchan has put in a decent performance. There is a silent menace about him, and he is increasingly becoming effective with his eyes. Nevertheless, he doesn't get the sympathy of viewers.

Dialogue is like written in the Jurassic ages. The line "Do you trust me?" is repeated like 327 times, thus rendering it like worthless, and in fact a bit like funny, heh heh!

If you are really going to watch this movie (as I suspect you will), leave your thinking apparatus at home. It's not of much use while watching this one.
Too much style, too little substance.

My friends as well as my brother (he doesn't count among my friends, you see) seem to have thoroughly enjoyed the movie. Moreover, they also insist that Dhoom-2 is way better than Dhoom-1. I haven't watch Dhoom-1 yet, and now, there is just no question of watching it.

-G.

User-friendly Error Messages

Well, in order to make our application more user-friendly, we have implemented following error –messages:

When application starts:
"All the functionalities in this application are imaginary and bear no resemblance to those specified in the FDS. Run this application at your own risk. We are not liable for any mental, emotional, physical, financial, or spiritual injury caused by it. May God Bless You... Amen."

When user tries to edit an object created by another user:
"दुसरों के object को हाथ क्यों लगा रहा है बे?"

When user successfully completes some task:
"बधाई हो बधाई !! लगता है कि आप जितने बेवकूफ़ दिखते हो उतने हो नही..."

When user tries to delete a object:
"टपका डालू क्या साले को? एक बार अच्छी तरह सोच ले!"

Limited functionality:
"Dekh bhidu, jyaada time nahi tha isliye apun ne itnaaich implement kiya hai. Ab isse ki kaam chalaa lena, kya?"

Un-handled exception:
"आयला… घापा हो गया रे!!"

Application crash:
"Aapka aaplikesan bhasak gayela hai. Try one of the fallowing:
1.Restart applikesan

2. Restart machine, restart applikesan

3.Restart electric supply to your building, restart machine, restart applikesan.
Fir bhi nahi chal rahaa toh write a letter to us and send it through a pigeon."

If user tries to seek assistance by clicking on Help menu:
Online Help provides details in a very user-friendly way… For Ex:

"Kill the currently running thread by terminating its process in Processes tab of Windows Task Manager. Next, edit the InterfaceService.Config file and restart IS & SS services from Services under admin tools of Windows Control Panel."


When user closes Help:
"अब दोबारा मत पुछना !"

-G.

Walking down the road, I saw her...

I am walking down the road, hands in pockets, mind lost in thought.
And then, I see her.

She is sitting in the veranda of a tiny little bungalow… looking absent-mindedly at the traffic flowing by, lost in her own world, oblivious to my presence.

She is beautiful… most beautiful... I want to go near her… but dare not, lest she might go away...

So all I do is rest my chin on the compound wall and continue to stare at her…

It is the moment like this when I regret not having a camera-with-mobile (or mobile-with-camera, or whatever). If I had one now, I could have captured this beauty and then made my friends jealous. In fact, I would have got it framed and placed it on my bedside table.

With me inclined against the compound-wall of a roadside bungalow, the passer-bys are giving me strange looks … but who gives them a damn?… I am busy savouring one of beauties in the world…

Should I take her home? My brother would undoubtedly be in love with her; as much as I am now… even my father wouldn't mind her having in the house... but … I have no doubts my mother would kick her right out of the door… even the thought pains me…

Perhaps mindful of my stare, she turns her head in my direction… and I experience love at second sight… from such a distance , it is difficult to tell the shade of her eyes… is it blue, is it green? Or is it something in between? Whatever the shade it might be, it's just beautiful.

I keep staring at her, and she keeps staring at me. I smile. Even try to blow out a small whistle… no reaction on her part…

And then, a dog barks out somewhere in the vicinity.
And the cat, at which I have been staring for so long, bounds inside the house.

I cast a reproachful glance at the dog.
And then, hands in pocket, mind lost in thought, I resume walking.

-G.

Of Angelina-kaku & Brad-baapu….

The city of Pune is honoured to host a couple of universal fame, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, and their equally eminent kid, Shiloh Nouvel ( by the way, is it a boy's name or a girl's name?) However, some people have been objecting to the media coverage accorded to this couple. Being one of those close to Brangelina, it is my duty to allay some doubts.

Objection 1: Why so much hype about just some film-stars?
Answer: Doesn't our honourable PM get covered in US media? Our media is just trying to pay back. So what if our PMs get mentioned on third or fourth page; and our national dailies have been devoting headlines with photos to Brangelina. It's a minor point.


Objection 2: They have come for their own work. Why should we bother about them?
Answer: it's time to reveal a secret: The real mission of Brangelina in India is to eradicate poverty. Why else would they pay Rs 500/- for an auto-rickshaw ride that would have normally cost Rs 60/- ? They just wanted to give to away their hard –earned money to the needy. It's another thing that they have earned more publicity by giving 500/- to an auto driver than they would have got by giving 500/- to any ad agency.

Objection 3: Why so many reporters to cover them?
Answer: Isn't it great that at least 327 people have some part-time employment? On top of it, they have also been trained for free in adventurous activities, such as climbing walls, scaling roof-tops and running after auto-rickshaws trying to get a glimpse of this couple.

Last heard:
- Diapers used by baby Shiloh Nouvel ( some one please enlighten me about whether it is a boy's name or a girl's...) are going to be put on auction.
- The auto-rickshaw in which the trio took a ride will be placed in Raja Kelkar museum, under a special section called "Brangelina Chariot."

-G.

On Thought Management….

It was the time ...

when Williams Gates III, better known as Bill Gates, was just a kid. One day, his mother saw him brooding over something and asked him casually, “What are you doing, Bill?” The little Bill shot back, “I am thinking, Mom... Have you ever tried thinking?” Some may see arrogance in this reply, but I do feel that the boy had asked a valid question. Do we really ever think about the way we think?

A salaried person takes stock of his/her earnings and expenses by end of each month. He/she also sets up the budget for next month. A business-person keeps a daily account of sales achieved and targets for future.
Those more serious about their career and profession do the same with their time… they note down the hours worked on a project/task, and set aside time for entertainment, family and social matters.

All this is indeed very important and it certainly helps.

The point is:

Why not apply the same technique to our thoughts as well?

If we note down the issues we think of every day, the number turns out to be a huge one, but most of the topics are highly mundane. We literally waste the enormous power that we are endowed with.

First of all,

how much of our thinking is ‘actionable’ thinking? For example: we look at the photos of hunks like Hritik or Salman and think:” Wow, what a body…” But unless and until we convert such kind of though into an action-oriented thought like: “Hmm, I will join the gym from tomorrow”, it doesn’t help us at all.

Next point is...

“Looped Thinking”. I have been planning to do some saving for last six months. But whenever I begin to think of that topic, I go through same motions each time and end up at the same point. Thoughts should be like building-blocks. We should build upon our previous thoughts, rather than going through the same cycles, time & again.

How about...

treating our thoughts as tangible entities, just like money & time? Our attitude needs to be like: This week I will think of these matters and reach some conclusion, by week-end I will clear up these pending thoughts and not waste my time on them again, I will start thinking about these new ideas…..

Sure, this will not be easy at first.

We might feel like wandering off into our own free-wheeling ways. But as Buddha has said, “Our thoughts are our destiny.” A close look at most of the highly successful persons reveals that not only do they manage their time and money wisely; they pay an equal attention to their thought-processes as well.

Gautam's Instructions For Life...

Hi,
Well, After attaining the ripe old age of 25 years, I feel that the world must benefit from my sagely advice. Without a helping hand, there is a fear that the young generation may get lost in the dark by-lanes of this treachorous world.

Here come Gautam's Instructions For Life...

1. Never, ever give all your outdoor clothes for ironing all at once.
[Once I had to miss a movie since couldn't possibly go out in a banyan and half-pant.]

2. Before you enter a hotel, check whether your pocket contains a wallet.
If it does, check further if the wallet contains cash/ credit card. Better safe than sorry.

3. When a girl smiles and waves at you, before you wave back, turn around to check whether she isn't waving at someone approaching from behind you.
Follow same procedure even if the above-mentioned girl happens to be your own g/f.
Better safe than sorry.

4. Most people drive recklessly but think cautiously. Try doing the opposite.

5. While working in kitchen, remember that common salt is the most important ingredient of any dish. It is also the most commonly forgotten one.

6. If you get an urge to share your innermost secrets with someone, share them with your dog.
A cat will also do, except that it wont pay much attention to what you are saying.

7. Defrag your computer once in a while. Do the same with your brain.

8. Money matters.

9. Never say you are fond of kids, unless your dream job is that of a babysitter.

10. Tears cleanse the eye-glands. They work the same way on your soul.

Yours,
-G.

My Letter to Filmfare

Hi,
well, here is a copy of the mail I dashed off to Filmfare minutes ago. I dont mind whether they publish it or not, but felt that I had to vent off my anger. Would request you to do the same, if you feel equally strongly about it.
urs,
-G.
----------------------------------------------------------------

To:
The Editor,
Filmfare

Sir,
I am a regular reader of Filmfare since a decade. While going through the latest issue ( June 2006), I was shocked to find the obituary of Naushad Ali being wrapped up in just 2 pages. The piece written on him did little justice to this legendary composer.

Films come and go, film-stars rise and fall, it is the music which outlives all of them. Naushad-saab has mesmerized millions of Indians with his music in a career spanning six long decades. He deserves a much better tribute from Filmfare, which I perceive as a film-magazine for the classes, rather than the masses.
Better late than never... Could you please share with us whatever material you have on Naushad-saab? I would suggest something like vital stats about the films he composed for, what he had to say about the singers who sang for him and what they had to say about him, some intersting anecdotes about Naushad, the person... and above all, as many rare photographs you can find !!

...and If you can come up with a dedicated issue, I am sure it will turn out to be a collector's item.

With high hopes & regards,
-Gautam Soman,
Goa-India.

The Good Earth ? ... Or The Tyrant Nature ?

Hi,

In our culture, we treat Earth as mother goddess . Indeed all the forces of nature: the sun, the soil, the air, the water have been granted a divine status in almost all civilizations. They have been looked upon as benefactors , caring guardians.

There is a theory which even accords earth a life of its own. According to the Gaia hypothesis, earth itself is a living being, and all tectonic movements are its 'life-processes'.

This is one extreme.

On the other hand, there is a school of thought which posits that nature as such has never been kind towards human beings, or towards any living being, for that matter. We and other species have survived solely due to our tenacity and adaptive qualities.

If we stop all the works which 'disrupt the ecological balance' , will there be no more earthquakes & volcanoes, floods & draughts, tsunamis & hurricanes ? In fact some of the world's most devastating natural disasters have occurred in the era when the industrial pollution was in its infancy.

Yours,

- G.